Paranoia

Running for my bed to slip under the shadows
Warm mushy blanket engulfs my shivering
My hands tremble under my pillows
Their voices transcend from even so far
Their voices transcend to just behind the door

Sleep is just a taste away
My mind is still stuck on yesterday
Incapable of evolving
Still a small receptive child
Still a small-untested mortal

The mirror lies in their eyes
My charm washed with my lies
From perception of false innocence
Do I construct my own demise?
Do I construct the trap that swallows?

This the reason I ache in my bed
Trying to evade from the voices in my head
They speak of my disturbing mind
Laughing at my choices
Laughing with shifting voices

I think I know my enemies for one moment
Before my thoughts skip to the next atonement
Bathing in guilt I regret as I grasp my mushy blanket
THEY KNOW I AM WEAK
THEY KNOW I AM A FAKE

Never once did I ever do it right
Never once did I ever see the light
Forever flashing back to moments that I fell
Not much left here
I even lost my sleep

Figure it out?

Figure it out?

When my days are counted

When my dreams are forgotten

When my eyes look at today

When yesterday they looked far

Searching for answers

Searching for the comfort of success

Searching for desire to cloud the mind

I have seen triumph

Soaked up the smiles

Soaked up the respects

Soaked up the ego

Bestowed upon me from chance

A lucky connection

A lucky place to shine

A lucky ticket to premature realization

I have seen it all collapse

Fallen in the cracks

Fallen on my back and they laugh

Fallen in a hole and its helpless